New ear

You would have noticed the slight difference in the title... ITS MISSING A LETTER Y! And... IT IS NO JOKE! I ... have underwent surgery for a new ear!!

My new look. Concentrate on the ears...

Nah just kidding.

2010 has arrived... and of cause in translation it just means another year and another day. But it is the day where people celebrate the Earth completing another revolution around the Sun... Wait. It isn't? Then whats the new year for?

Anyway, i don't see the point in celebrating New Year... If you think about it. It is the time when the Earth completes one round around the Sun. That translates to 365 and about 1/4 days. And 1 day is the time taken for the Earth to complete spinning one round. To illustrate how foolish is celebrating New year, it is like - or rather, IT IS celebrating a ball turning 365 times, and at 1/4 through the spin, you started screaming OMG ITS THE NEW YEAR! and set off fireworks to commemorate the event(?). Oh, and the ball goes exactly one round around a bigger ball while doing that. Come to think of it, its quite an accomplishment.

''You see that?! The ball spun 365 and 1/4 times!!''

365 and 1/4 times!!! CELEBRATE!!!

And there is a major flaw in these types of New year celebration events. You know all the time when people shout: ''10! 9! 8!......0!'' Whose clock were they using? It bothers me that when they bothered to be very precise about the new year's coming, there is a possibility of counting it being inaccurate. Its the same feeling you get when you try to build a record of 230894723946 dominoes falling down, only to have a prankster stick super glue or blue tack on the 230894723946th domino to stop you from getting the record. Hmmm.... WELL. Maybe not to that extend. But you get the idea. What if the clock they are using is inaccurate or something?

My image of that is that one single person on duty is supposed to check the clock. But feeling lazy or something, he decided that, ''ah heck it'' and followed the time on his watch which is 5 minutes early. Good way to ruin the mood eh.

CELEBRATE!!!... Wait, its 5 minutes early! SHIT!!

STOP THE FIREWORKS!!! STOP!!!

Anyway, on New year's eve, which is yesterday, my family had some cruise dinner celebrating the new year. How was it? It was quite fun. The PSP game i was playing inside. In summary, the experience was like eating in a restaurant at night, during a low magnitude earthquake, while the city has blackouts. In the ship, if you look out the window... I took no photos, but you see this.

VCT's illustration using a 10 second Paint job.

Genius. That makes it for the blackout part in the summary. And to add to the blackout part, the lighting in the ship is very dim. Imagine during a blackout, you would take out candles and yellow lighted lights. Its the same brightness. Now, for that earthquake part. You know, when there is a low magnitude earthquake, it feels... a bit shaky? Well. I'm on a ship. Thats where you get that. And the earthquake magnitude goes slightly up sometimes, but dies down quickly. (when the ship is rocking harder)

In short, its $68 for eating in a restaurant mysteriously surrounded by water, and having an earthquake. To make it worse, when we were getting on board, they gave us... party hats? And you need to take food across the 3 levels on the ship, while holding your food from rockiness? Wazzzaaat? Because they had karaoke you also need to endure the singing of people who can't in fact sing very well? And they are not singing songs that you like? After that, you see some fireworks at about 12 am, which is the only thing you can see during the whole trip. I didn't see or take any photos of course. But to illustrate again:

If you look from far its the same as the photos!

And when we finally reached Singapore again,we received a souvenir. A pen with a string for you to hoop around your neck. That string is like a zipper. Heres a photo to show:

My hand, a pen, and a zipper string.

A Pen. A Zipper. (Don't get it? What is 5 lettered, starts with pen, and would be found behind zippers most of the time? A penis!) Would be hilarious to find this on www.penisland.net. (PEN ISLAND!!! NOT PEN*S LAND DAMMIT YOU DIRTY MINDED FOOL!!) Now that i have made this point, the comment above looks obscene.

But come to think of it... I hope this is not an euphemism for ''Fuck you. Thanks for your $68! Suckers! GYAHAHAHAHAHAHA!''

3 day Malaysia trip

I don't get it... Why do people spend big bucks to go to places that aren't interesting, just to go to some place to visit some uninteresting scenery, spend long hours on the bus sleeping, eat the same food no matter where you go... The trip was 300+ / person... Its a boring trip. 1st and 3rd day spent largely on the bus. 2nd day is boring also. Btw i didn't want to go. Sort of forced.

1st day:

Woke up at 5 am. zzz... Reached golden mile complex. Then remembered that its a few hundred people tour. Haiz... Going to have long queues everywhere =((.Go up bus. Sleep. Can't remember very well. But went into a strawberry farm (i think?). Learnt that dried strawberry in chocolate is delicious. Hmmm... Rest of the day did nothing but stay on bus...

At the hotel, i learnt that all hotel rooms look the same. Also, it makes no sense that the air-con is on inside the bathroom. =( Sure, we need ventilation. But shouldn't the temperature be like higher? I like air-con temperature, but it's a different story when i'm wet after the shower.

2nd day:

Woke up at about 7 am. Z_Z... Sleep on bus... visited Rose Valley. Rose valley had a lot of stuff to talk about. Bad stuff. But unfortunately it doesn't work well without photos. So i shall skip that.

Then slept on bus. Went to some strawberry farm without strawberries.(all plucked). Later went to some Pasar malam. Learnt that the whole 300m of Pasar Malam stalls basically only have about 5 varieties of stalls. Walk a few meters and the rest of the stalls are just with different prices and people.

3rd day:

Today is the day where i learnt most stuff. But 1st i'll talk about how uninteresting today is. Went to San Poh Tong... some cave temple or something. I learnt that having large shoes or feet is bad for climbing down uneven stairs. You feel like you fall easily. I learnt that by climbing up some long stairs which lead to... under construction =.=, which was not the bad part. The bad part is climbing down while holding on to the railings, hoping i never climbed up. I consider the staircase railings a great invention of man kind now. Staring down uneven staircases is like staring into an endless abyss trying to pull you down... the only difference is that it will end and when you fall it will hurt or maybe you will die. If there are people other than you then maybe you will not die but they will die.

I remember the toilet down there. When i reached there, i saw a row of female queuing up. I saw lots of cubicles in front. Didn't think too much, just queue up and go in. Later i went to wash my hands... i saw the sign ''Male toilet'' in front of the basin. Btw, i'll draw something so you'll understand.

__________________________

| ..................................| ^

| ..................................| | C

| ..................................| |

|_________________________| v

<------------C----------> <----WB---->

C= cubicles

WB= washing basin.

Male ''toilet'' on the right side.

Female ''toilet'' left of WB.

Never mind the fact that i went into the toilet meant for females.( No wonder only got female queuing @#$@#%@#%) But then...Whats the point of calling it female and male toilet when their just cubicles?!?! And i remember the sign in front of the toilet cubicle door. It looks like a long haired.... something with sunglasses. The problem is we can't tell whether its a long haired man, woman, or Michael Jackson. (Again no pictures so... sorry. Comedic effect only at 10%.) Although, it doesn't really matter since ''Whats the point of calling it female and male toilet when their just cubicles?!?!''is the more important issue. Learnt that people who put the signs there has no common sense. Learnt that people will follow signs whether or not it is logical.

Also, i realized that the reason Singapore may be called a clean city is a lot due to the toilets. In Malaysia...No matter what kind of high class looking restaurant, once you enter the toilets... It all looks like a million people has shitted on the toilet bowl cover. The floor looks like the million people has accidentally stepped their own shit, then walked out... Only to realize that they left shit on the floor, but they did a bad job of cleaning the shit. Also, because there was a million people, the janitor was trampled on by the million people and died. The body was left unfound. Attempting to sit on any toilet bowl would be like asking for a million different types of diseases to be cared and shared around. Or rather, its not like. I think it is. Fortunately though, the hotel toilets aren't like that. If not i wouldn't be able to Poo in Peace for 3 days.

For some reason, the food in every tour is also the same. 10 people gather round a table, fish, chicken, veggies, soup, rice, cooked the same bloody way and served the same way. What happened to local food? Although, what local food does M'sia have?

Conclusion:

Tours are uninteresting. In fact, going overseas is often uninteresting with what people do. I don't want to go there to see the world's largest waterfall or climb it or whatever. Thats uninteresting when i can see professional photos over the net and when its just a larger waterfall. People say they want to see the world by travelling overseas. But i say thats narrow minded. The world pretty much looks the same everywhere with little variation anyway... What they should see, are those which really makes the world look different. For example... uh........oh shit. I can't seem to think of any real life examples that would be interesting. But visiting the 1st ever alien aircraft to land on Earth is probably one.

Drama~~

Its your 21st birthday. You went home expecting a good christmas party with your family. Everything was fine. It was the happiest day of your life... You finally turned adult. Then came the announcement by your parents...

''Me and your father have discussed this a long time... But we decided to tell you only when you turned adult. You are not our real child...''

Your whole world crashed. Questions fill your head as the announcement slipped into your mind. Why haven't they told me? Who are my real parents? Why was i abandoned? Why did they pick me up? Why why why why why????????

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Shit this. It doesn't really matter to me. There are many stories out there about parents like real parents, suddenly adopted, want find real parents, maybe hate current parents....blablablabla...

But i don't get it. Why does it matter o_O. A lot of drama will be lost if the character doesn't react like that... but for some reason ALL will react like that. -.- And its really lame -.-

Lame enough for Komamura's diao face.

Translation:

=.=

=.=

=.=

Now imagine this scenario. Its like the character reacts like that because they have to create drama.

--------------------------------------------------

''Me and your father have discussed this a long time... But we decided to tell you only when you turned adult. You are not our real child...''

''Uh... Okay... so?''

''No, wait. What? You aren't surprised?''

''........................................No................................................... what did you expect.''

''Nonono, your whole world is supposed to die. WE ARE NOT YOUR REAL PARENTS!! Thats important!! Be more agitated!!''

''For what?''

''Why uh... you are not our flesh and blood!!''

''Naw. Doesn't matter to me.''

--------------------------------------------------------------

Well. It really doesn't matter. Those 'fake' parents were acting like real ones anyway. Unless...

Leopard: Child... The truth is... I am not your real dad.

But. For one, it doesn't really is going to affect their lives unless they go to find their parents on purpose. But hey, if there was any good reason they left you, they wouldn't find you until the right moment. If they were too poor, you going back would ruin their emotional and financial lives. If they are too famous, you going back will ruin their reputation.

If they were normal... depends on their reasons...

Btw, even when you go back, what happens next? Happy reunion with real family? Screw it. They left you with somebody else to leech off, then now tries to act like your real family as if they raised you all along. What happens to the leeched?

So, in the scenario where you didn't find your family, or decided that your real family are bastards(so much for flesh and blood relationships =.=), you go back to your family. Then... life continues as normal.

In the scenario where the adopted gets 2 families, its where the real fun begins. He/she has 2 moms and dads. Its double the pocket $$. When 1 family feels like a bastard, go to the other one for warmth. When your birthday arrives, you receive 2 more extra presents. Don't worry about providing for your real parents. They left you for 21 years. So you shall leave them for 21 years. Nah just kidding. But when you grow up, you sure are damned. You will need to provide for 2 families, excluding your own. Btw, its expected that in years to come you will need at least 7.5k per month on average to support your daily life. I assume this is ONE family? I heard this on some seminar. And of course, its true. Its just that sooner or later. Due to inflation and whatnots.

Now, i decided to add some more stuff to this fake parents thing. Look at this scenario.

----------------------------------------------------

''MOM!!! DAD!!''

''Our child!!''

Happy reunion...

Fake parents: '' We're so glad he found his real parents...''

Ten years later...(that was fast) Child lives with both real and fake parents.

''Hey uh... actually... Our DNAs don't match.''

Door slams open.

''My child!!!''

Everybody:''What?!''

''A hospital mix up happened. WE are your REAL parents!!''

''.................................''

---------------------------------------

There are much more possibilities to add to the drama. Of course it all doesn't work if it were me. This, in line, is the ultimate parent child drama.

Feral child raised by some animal.

> feral child finds out his/shes not an animal...

> finds parent pair number 1, becomes family

> for some reason parent pair number 1 did smth criminal and had to abandon child

> due to shock or some other reason child loses memories

> parent pair no. 2 adopt...

> at some age parent pair no. 2 confesses

> child goes to find parent pair 1

> solved criminal problems somehow

> happy end with parent pair 1 & 2

> NO!!!!!! not end yet....

> parent pair 3 appears. says its a hospital mix up.

> child stressd by families

> says ''shit this'' and goes back to being a feral child.

> finds out that animal parents are dead.

> killd by parent pair 3.

> how to continue writing????

> conspires to kill parent pair 3. his real parents.

> successfully killd parent pair 3.

> turns out to be a double mix up and theres a parent pair 4 who is his real real parents.

> the story goes on hiatus.

You were thinking about the ending weren't you?

Continuing from before...

... the worse thing is that probably even teachers probably do not know why the education system is like this. As this goes on people will just keep following the system and doing nothing. You see, when people follow a system, its like going for a job if someone inspires you. And thats probably the reason why iPhone killers are actually inferior to the iPhone, and while those stupid other companies are coming up with better versions of the iPhone renamed, Apple is probably keeping about 20 years of stuff about to be released soon and own the market and other companies.

When someone inspires you, you try to recreate that experience. The problem is that you are not playing into your strength, but others'. As a result, you can only play up to 99% of what inspired you. And i assure you most don't go to 99%. Its the same thing for the education system. teachers are trying to push that star student into other students to model. As a result, even if assuming that everybody models at 99% efficiency, its still deteriorating.

The worst part is probably the stupidity of humans. A group of old people is controlling the whole country, but yet no one is complaining. Who are they to decide what we do? But no one does anything about it. We definitely have enough people on the against side. Its 4 million against the few geezers for this country. Its like in the cartoons you watched as a kid. You always thought. Why those bloody minions work for the villains?!? Stupid sia! They want destroy the whole earth including you, why work for them?! Just that this time, in real life, the old geezers do not have powers as imba as the villains.

Of course, this plunges society into further chaos. But think about it. In these times, humans are forced to work to their fullest potential. Its not like they like it. They HAVE to do it. Sure, it isn't comfortable, but it sure makes a lot more progress to humanity.

Looking back on what i typed, it sure looks like a step towards a new religion or becoming someone who wants to destroy the whole world. So...

DISCLAIMER: THIS BLOG AND ITS AUTHOR IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY ACTIONS YOU WILL MAKE, INCLUDING WANTING TO DESTROY THE WHOLE WORLD FOR SOME REASON.

My inspirations for this blog seems to be dying...

Some maths questions

QUESTION 1)

3 men went to a cafe and ordered.
The bill came to $30, being $10 each.
The men each gave the waiter $10.
After they had eaten, the owner realised he had overcharged them, so he gave the waiter $5 to give back to them.
The waiter, being smart, gave each man back $1 and kept $2 for himself.
($1 + $1 + $1 + $2 = $5)
So each man had ended up paying $9.
($9 x 3 = $27)
Plus, the $2 the waiter kept = $29.
Where did the other $1 go??

QUESTION 2)

There are three campers

Camper A has 400g of rice

Camper B has 200g of rice

Camper C has no rice, but has $6

How should the 6$ be distributed?

--------------------------------------------------------

Got the answers? Those were easy questions. The answers and explanation are as follow:

1) Its a calculation error in the question itself. You should be subtracting the 2 dollars from the assistant instead of adding it. $9 each were of money spent. $2 money gained. $5 from the owner, money given/spent.

2) All should be given to Camper A. So all have 200g rice. C buys from A.

----------------------------------------------

Alright kids. Those were the answers given on the answer sheet. Now for the REAL answers. REAL LOGICAL ANSWERS IN REAL LIFE.

1) Who cares where the $1 goes? That waiter should be fired for being dishonest. Those 3 men should check their bills and say ''Hey wheres our 2 dollars?!'' And if you think about it, those 3 men not knowing that they got scammed means that there is no freaking price tags on the menu. OR there is no menu... So the restaurant should add a proper menu. With price tags.

And theres another problem. If the 3 people ordered the same stuff, or stuff with the same price tag, shouldn't each receive the same amount of money back? Like, a number divisible by 3? The reason why i deduced that they should have same price tags is because hey, if i ordered a Full Spring chicken, and you ordered a HALF spring chicken, wouldn't you complain that... we have the same cost even though my share is much larger? If you don't, gimme half your lunch next time.

''Uh... Why are there only half left before i start eating?''

So, the question wasn't being specific enough. We should know what the hell did those 3 people order. Also, ''After they had eaten, the owner realized...'' is not good enough. You should add something that says ''They haven't left the restaurant.'' If not i'm going to say that those 3 men don't care about the $5, and the owner should just keep it because... if i found $5 on the floor, i'm not going to return it to the police unless i saw it drop from someone's wallet. I know you think i'm bastard... but wouldn't YOU do the same?

2) And this is the baddest and stupidest kind of question and answer. 3 people are camping... 2 of them have rice, 1 doesn't. Where should the $6 go from camper C? It obviously goes to the taxi driver.

Yeah. Him. Its mind blowing magic. Explanation below...

Why the taxi driver? Think about it. If you go camping, when is it of the camp that you have no rice? Of course! Its the end of the camp! the $6 goes to the taxi driver because camper C would go home next! Which idiot would bring just $6 to a camp?

The question simply wasn't specific enough. Do the campers know each other? Are they camping together? Did C ask A to bring the rice for him? Do all of them eat the same portion of food? Is other food types involved? Or is camper C really an idiot who brings $6 to a camp, expecting to buy 200g of rice at $3/100g from some stranger he didn't meet before or even KNOW will be there?

------------------------------------------------------------

Okay. Despite the low opinions you have of this blog... This is a frigging serious situation. If you saw the answer sheet answer and didn't question yourself, its damn serious. It means that people are using less logic and brains to think about academics. Its a serious problem of people not being able to think carefully. And whats worse is that these type of questions are being asked in primary schools, secondary schools, and a few percentage in JC.

We have always questioned why the hell did John choose to run a whole one round, but yet May just walked a cross straight to the same damned destination. That was in primary school. Yet after that, our answers became all illogical. John simply runs the whole one round because... It doesn't matter. We stopped questioning. Our process of thought stopped. Theres a question? Give the politically correct answer that is correct according to Mathematicians. Scientists. Teachers.

Look. When you are given an English essay to write. Do you seriously think and believe what you said? NO! They throw me whatever question, i give them answers they expect to hear. ( not of an A student though ) Arguments simply don't matter. Tell me of any argument you had that actually changed your mind about something. You hate chocolate? Who cares? No matter how much you argue about your hate for chocolate, i still like it.

This adds to the list of reasons why the education system is screwed. And remember, in real life, they don't throw you a random question for you to answer. You choose what questions to tackle depending on your profession. In real life, its not just how much John ran. John should stop, and walk the same path as May. Think global warming sucks? No use arguing for people to stop it. Actually show them why it sucks, and invent something if you have to stop it.

''All your chocolate will begin to melt, but not in your mouth. And thats bad. No more chocolate bars for me.''

Whats worse about the system is that... Argh this blog post is getting damn long i'll save it for the next post.

The bloody sad truth about millionaires

Alright. The front part of the secrets of millionaire is just as i posted. About the 2nd quarter to the middle was okay... some points are good... Until i reached the middle.

For one, i learnt that being a millionaire really needs you to become a bastard. Or at least make a lot of people hate you. For example, if you saw this darn brilliant thing that could possibly be sold for damn lots of money. Such as Superman, MS-DOS, McDonalds... buy it at a reap off price then sell it as your own. DO NOT be business partners with them. Oh and you know about those random stuff you see on the internet? STEAL them and sell it off as your own! This is what the book wrote:''Even if you cannot find enough good information, you can keep enhancing your knowledge by acquiring tons of new ideas and knowledge for free from the internet!'' Which of course, seems to be a pretty long... elaboration of ''Steal if you are stupid!'' The above examples, 2 of which the book gave only served to say ''Steal if you are clever too!''

For 2, it seems that Adam Khoo seems to be a pretty big liar. Previously, he said that he was the top student of some school. As you know, writing a motivational book doesn't require pro english skills like some gay novel. English skills such as from this blog and maybe a little bit editing from the publisher is enough! A top student grade is totally enough for this kind of book writing! But what did Adam Khoo say? ''my standard of written English was 'not commercially viable' and he asked me to rewrite the manuscript 3 times.'' There we have it. Either Adam Khoo lied about his qualifications or he lied about rewriting 3 times.

When i 1st saw the words ''final millionaire habit'' twice in Millionaire habit 8 and 9, i thought it was a simple typo. But now i know. Combine AK is a big fat liar and millionaires steal ideas, i now suspect that Adam Khoo hired some unnamed guy and sucked out all his ideas. Next, he put all that guy's ideas into a book, paste his name on it. TADAH! What Adam Khoo really did was give it an excellent title for attracting idiots and reap profits from the book.

Now that we know the truth, its important that we know what the poor guy who got sucked from Adam khoo really wants to say. He kindly told us that AK is a big fat liar, and now he provided us an example that shows Only idiots buy books like this leading to bastards becoming millionaires. The example? Cindy Cashman's 'Everything Men Know About Women'.

Look at this video....

For your information, that is not a printing error. Look at this website.

''Everything Men Know About Women

The 20th Anniversary Edition of the world's most famous blank book (written under the pseudonym of Dr. Alan Francis). A profound message in its simplest form. Buy it as a motivator to inspire yourself and/or a friend.''

Seriously? And it was the best-selling book? And Cindy Cashman is a millionaire? And what do you mean ''written''?!?! Another of her best selling book is 'The book of smiles'. And it contains just and only the pictures of people smiling. Would be funny if i found all the pictures on Google Images, all which were uploaded before the book got published.

Who knows? Maybe a title named ''Only idiots buy this'' with a book inside with all pictures scolding the buyer is an idiot would sell... Or maybe an idea about ''The book full of crap'' or ''All about feces'', inside litterally stuffed with pictures of shit... or REAL SHIT!

A book review

This is unlike last time, where i praised a truly good manga. This time, i'll criticize an existing best seller. Called ''Secrets of self- made millionaires''. I haven't read through the whole book, so i'll read and criticize at the same time.

Okay, 1st page of the book, ignoring those foreword and crap stuff that nobody reads anyway, already shows that this guy called Adam Khoo is ready to tell his life story. By boasting about it. And probably by looking down on other people. But anyway, i would laugh if he said that his million was made by selling this kind of books to idiots investors who were attracted by the title.

Read read read... this guy is not bad! He said that the mind is the greatest asset of anyone, and even though he was born in a rich family, he didn't get much extra pocket money and stuff. He got a few jobs, got inspired, then started to work hard for himself. From trash student to top student. It doesn't change the fact that he is born in a frigging rich family though. Rich family -> stupid son -> worried about inheritance -> send him for motivational camp. a good and probably frigging expensive one.

This is revealed in ''In sheer desperation to help me find some aim in life, my parents sent me to a motivational camp for teens when i had just turned 13.''

Anyway moving on, that AK(Adam Khoo) kid was actually pretty dam bastard smart. Disco was the 'in' thing, but there was none for weekend evenings. So he decided to charge students to go to his self made disco, and not sharing. Remember readers of VCT, next time you want to lend your pencil or a book, say ''$1 rent per hour.''

AK went on to earn a few grands for himself. And his 2nd business... is AK & Associates, that motivational program that some of us may have gone through, that did nothing but nothing. He got this idea because he was the top student and started giving tuition for $200/mth. So he decided to mass tutor people.

But look what he have here. The next page reveals that suspicion i had when i 1st picked up this book. ''But anyway, i would laugh if he said that his million was made by selling this kind of books to idiots investors who were attracted by the title.'' Thats what i said. Now for what AK said.

''What really got me tons of business was when i decided to compile all my knowledge into a book.'' & '' By the time i graduated from university, i had 2 profitable businesses going, a best-selling book and a growing investment account. At the age of 26, i had crossed the one million net worth mark.''

Seriously, dood? This bastard just admitted that we were all idiots. I didn't buy the book though. I am merely reading it. My mother bought it... =(

And the next page reveals that AK must not have many friends. ''The truth is 'everything is money'!''

Reading on further reveals that fact. He spent his university holidays honing his presentation skills and writing books and whatnots to earn money.

Also, his constantly boasting. ''They think nothing of squandering $3,000 on a ring but think twice before buying a good book for $30! No wonder they are poor!''

*checks the price of the book...* $32.51! TA-DAH!

And im starting to feel sad for AK now. He spends 364 days per year, 19 hours per day working, and he thinks it is fun. This person either is obsessed with money, or have no real friends. And his a real scrooge because he doesn't want to spend 800$ for a phone even though he earns $1000/hour. His reasoning? It doesn't generate more money.

Alright... time to conclude this post... Criticizing not likely to continue. Its painful to read and write at the same time.

About the last post...

That Remi Gaillard guy, turns out he was an ex-member of the champion team. So, maybe this explains everything. Why he actually has fans, why the president went on TV with him as a member, why the team members bochup he down there extra extra.

But wait! I think its still too soon to conclude it like this... Yes, it will work out like above if Remi Gaillard was an ex-member, and quitted for some good reason. But what if, its for a bad reason? For example, if he was kicked out? If this is the case, then he shouldn't be welcomed by the present team members. AND another thing. How do you know if those present team members actually know Remi? In short, its still too soon to conclude this without further evidence.

2ndly! How much Remi Gaillard's presence in the team also affects how this will work out. Is he some noob member? Is he some ace? This, coupled with the above, determines how those team members would treat him.

3rd! The president DOES have some power. And the media is a strange thing. If you put this together, you can create strange news. What if, the president realized that Remi Gaillard was NOT a team member? To hide this embarrassment, manipulate the media! How? post Remi Gaillard as a member. In short, this point of argument is: Someone made Remi Gaillard a member.

Until Remi Gaillard and the team members of the champion team admits what really happened that day, we cannot know for sure what happened. But unfortunately or fortunately, reality and the masses work differently. When dealing with crowds, you have to treat them like pigs. No matter how much clever people are in the crowd, stupid people will lead the crowd mentality. Different opinions doesn't help much in making the masses more clever.

Combo the media and the masses together, you can make what is black, white. A google search of ''Remi Gaillard former player'', ''Remi Gaillard former member'', '' Remi Gaillard lorient'' etc etc...

shows that only Wikipedia says that Remi Gaillard is a former member. What this means is ... the masses has accepted that Remi Gaillard blended in due to pure skill, and not because the team members bochup.

Remember all the times...

when u watched your favorite team of any game win the national cup, felt joy enough that you wanted to stand beside them, sharing the cup as if its also yours?

One man did it:

Don't worry if you don't understand Japanese. You can find a summary of what he did in wikipedia. This guy is Remi Gaillard. I don't have to tell you how amazing this prank is.

But i'll still tell you anyway.

1. He managed to fool some fools in the winning team...and more fools in the audience, without anyone going '' Who the hell are you?''

2. This one requires no censorship in the word, kids. Effie is not require here. He got the fucking

president to greet him, thinking his part of the winning team.

3. Fans of the team went to him for his signature. Despite not even knowing who he is.

4. When bringing up the winning cup in the audiences, still nobody identified him, as he pretended to be part of the team.

5. He ran with the team, around the field with the cup and towards the camera. Again, this requires no censorship. I like to think everybody holding the cup thought : '' Who are you? But who fucking cares?!'' Or maybe... ''Ah, his wearing the same shirt as i am. His in the same team.''

What all these said about them:

1 and 4,5. Players apparently don't spend much time remembering other people's faces. As long as your wearing the same shirt, your in the same team.

''Good work teammate.''

2. The French president doesn't give a hoot who is in the winning team. Little efforts such as remembering people's faces are unimportant once you are the president. Maybe.

3. Even Fans don't really remember faces well. This means that people are likely to remember only the more significant members in the team. But despite not knowing who the hell you are, people will still ask for your autograph as long as your part of the winning team.

Oh, and Gaillard is amazing for other things too. Just look at this.

Sure, you can do that 1 million times and get it to work like that at least once. But factor in that securities are present, forget doing it 1 million times without going into jail. In fact, you don't need the securities. Just remember that if the ball hits someone or something you shouldn't, someone or something else will be chasing you around with a chopper. Do i also need to remind you that the number of views for the video is (no censorship required again) 4 fucking million for stupid pranks.

Do you have the balls to do what he did? Or rather, do you have the money to buy the number of balls required to play this prank as everybody you pranked confiscates the ball? According to my accurate calculations, the money required is more if you don't have godly aiming skills.

Random jokes

During midnight, a bus driver continues driving. The only passenger left was a woman with long hair and white clothes. The driver continues driving... and then he caught a glimpse of the mirror. The woman was no longer there. He stopped the bus immediately and turned back. The woman was still there... Then the bus driver continued driving.

Then he saw the mirror, again the woman disappeared! He stopped the car again, turn back, the woman was still there, continued driving. One last time, he looked the mirror, no woman, stopped, turn back, woman still there. The bus driver was afraid. He broke out in cold sweat and started driving the car at full speed. Then he saw the woman walking towards him... with messy hair and a face full of blood. The driver was frozen with fear.

The woman in white whispered in a deep voice: '' What have i wronged you...? Every time i squatted to tie my shoes, you stopped the car to knock my head......''

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有一天魔王把公主抓走，公主就一直叫。。。

魔王：你尽管叫破喉咙吧！没有人会来救你的~

公主：破喉咙~破喉咙~

没有人：公主~我来救你了！

魔王:说曹操曹操就到！

曹操：魔王！你叫我干嘛？

魔王：哇牢! 看到鬼！

鬼：糟！被发现了

糟：胡说！谁发现了我？

谁：关我屁事？

魔王：Oh my GOD!

上帝：谁叫我？

谁：没有人叫你啊！

没有人：我哪有？

从此．．．

魔王精神分裂．．．

很冷，

小心感冒

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This iz crime story
5 frndz lived in a room
Namely
MAD
BRAIN
FOOL
NOBODY
SOMEBODY
1day SOMEBODY killed NOBODY.
At that time BRAIN was in bathroom,
MAD called police.
MAD:Is it police station?
Police:Yes,wht iz the matter?
MAD:SOMEBODY killed NOBODY.
Police:R u mad?
MAD:Yes,i"m MAD.
Police:Dnt u've BRAIN.
MAD:BRAIN iz in bathroom..
Police:U FOOL...
MAD:No,FOOL is reading this sMs

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A little girl fell into the Singapore River and was drowning. Father was crying, everyone was crowding but no one helping.

Suddenly an ah beng jumped into the river and started drowning too. Police came and saved the both of them. Police commended the ah beng for being brave even though he couldn't swim.

Ah beng said: "KNN, who push me!"

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do not make phone calls in the toilets.

One day a man went into a cubicle in a men's toilet to do his business. Suddenly he heard a voice from next cubicle saying:"hi, how are u?"

the man felt weird about having a conversation in the toilet, but he answered, "i'm fine" and the other guy says "so what are you up to?" the man felt very bizarre and said " just travelling". At this point, the man was trying to leave the toilet as fast as he could when he heard the other guy asked " can i come over??"

The man got freaked out and hastily shouts, "no, i'm busy right now!" then the man heard the guy say nervously " hey, i'll call you back later. There's an idiot here who keeps answering me!"

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小牛从小鸡家哭着回来，老牛吃惊见了问为什么哭？

小牛哭诉说被鸡妈妈和全家的鸡追着打。

老牛又问为什么被打？

小牛说，我只是向他们道别，哪知道全村的鸡都很生气。

“小鸡Bye！老鸡Bye！全部鸡Bye！”

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小强明天就结婚了，好紧张，问妈妈该做什么？

妈妈说：“你把你身上最硬的地方，撞进女孩小便的地方就可以了。”

小强好像明白了，妈妈也不多解释。

当晚，小强就把自己的头撞进马桶。

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Copy pasted from somewhere =)

One day late but...

Yesterday, the principal talked about the story of El Kapun ( thats what it sounds like to me) and somebody's old hair. Basically, its a story where El Kapun is an imba crime mastermind, and somebody's old hair is a defense attorney who helped El Kapun to escape punishment. One day, he decided that doing these, supporting an evil villain in the eyes of the world, just isn't right. And he has a son whom he don't want to corrupt,but wanted to teach integrity. So the plot went on like any cliche story and somebody's old hair decided to help the arrest of El Kapun instead.

What was going in my head was not how cliched that story is, though i can't blame it since its damn old, but rather ''wait a damn minute, you mean that bastard took El Kapun's money, acted like El Kapun can rely on him, then back stabbed El Kapun and got away with all the crap he helped.'' So didn't he like... benefitted the most? Money + no jail.

Not wanting to force a conclusion without further research, i Googled. And the results...

El Kapun -> Al Capone

somebody's old hair -> Easy Eddie, Edward J. O'Hare

According to wikipedia, ''O'Hare and Capone began collaborating in business and in law. O'Hare made a second fortune through his ties to Capone, but he grew tired of working with thugs.'' This means that O'Hare was even more of a bastard than i thought. Though to be fair, he was kind of forced to join a gang.

Now, according to another website.http://www.snopes.com/glurge/ohare.asp.

If you read it, its kind of pretty clear already. If you're lazy to read, just know that my thoughts were true. And ya, that integrity thing O'Hare wanted to teach? I don't see how it got linked. Maybe integrity has a different meaning at that time i dunno, but i'm pretty sure it doesn't involve receiving a large amount of money for doing dirty stuff, betraying the person who gave you those riches and escaping jail. A real good man would have thrown himself into jail and donated those riches. I'm also pretty sure thats what the most evil villains do; hide behind a weaker evil villain, then when the time comes, steal the spot light and take over as the REAL antagonist of the story. The best part? That main villain was publicized as a hero to the world.

A Question...

You are in a dramatic position where you are witnessing someone going to suicide. That someone has a knife in his or her hands, and is pointing the sharp end towards his or her throat using both hands. As you can see, both hands are full. You want to prevent his or her suicide. Analyzing the situation using your god speed reflexes and powers of time manipulation, you decided that you are able to prevent her suicide. You do this by:

1. Grabbing his or her hand, immobilizing him or her and preventing the suicide.

2. Knocking the knife out of his or her hand.

3. Be an asshole and do nothing.

4. Shout to intimidate, hoping to shock him or her to stop.

5. Grab the knife with bare hands like a man, enduring the pain while gore blood pours out of your hand.

6. Take out a gun and threaten him or her, using obviously not that suicider's life but your own. I don't want to know where you get the gun.

The most effective way to prevent his or her suicide... is number 5. It isn't because its badass, and shows people how man you are. Its psychology... The best way to prevent the suicide is probably number 1, because you don't wanna get hurt. (Unless your a masochist. Come to think of it masochists must die a pleasurable death since they gain pleasure from pain. Consider to convert yourself to one to make your death less painful next time.) But you aren't taking whats happening in people's mind.

If you think about it, most people when suiciding, face a great decision of whether to kill themselves or not. Fear is preventing that person from stabbing the throat. And people DO NOT want to die(what about masochists?). If people wants to suicide, there is a reason. The reason being having a screwed life. These people WANT to be saved by someone. By grabbing that knife, blood comes out. Unless you have a metallic hand. This blood shocks the person suiciding. It gives an image of what would happen if he or she actually suicided, and also because it shows him or her that you actually care. As an added bonus, you get to show off how badass you really are and your ability to resist pain.

Of course, in a successful attempt, there is NO showing painful face or wince or scream. If your a masochist don't show the ecstasy face. Mr bean faces do not work also.

SHIT! THATS SCARY! I'LL SUICIDE IF THIS HOLDS THE KNIFE WITH BARE,BLOODY HANDS

By showing that bloody hand, an unmoving serious and sincere face, the suicider is set to think again. ''Someone do care about me. Why is this person risking blood for me? Is it wrong for me to die?'' Ask yourself and your friends. If a friend were to say to you : '' Hey can you grab this knife like REALLY hard until blood gores out if i were to die if you don't?'' If all of the people gave you the longest finger on their hands, thats probably about 7 or 8 cm, or if they explicitly told you ''Fuck you'', you might find yourself... a little bit lonely. But the thing is, people would not do this if they had an alternative. People hesitate between these decisions of suffering pain for another. By showing no hesitation to grabbing that bloody(going to be) knife, you show that the suicider's life is worth saving.

The blood confirms the suicider's suspicion of someone caring. The more blood and the faster it comes out the better the effect here. Oh and finally,

LEGAL CLAIM: THIS BLOG IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY INJURING OF HANDS WHILE GRABBING KNIVES FOR ANY PURPOSES, SUCH AS SAVING LIVES OR PRACTICING(?) OR FOR PHYSICAL PLEASURES.

AGAIN, DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME, OR ANYWHERE ELSE FOR THAT MATTER.

The best way to insult someone

Today, the scripture reading in school went something like this. '' Mercy is not giving us what we deserve. Grace is giving us what we don't deserve.'' It was all okay here. Then he proceeded and said : ''We should all be graceful with our words we say to people.'' These 3 sentences summarizes and highlights today's scripture.

But whether intentionally or not(i'm hoping it is), no shit, he just made a way to insult someone the best way possible. And his spreading this message to the whole school. :)

Why they think its good:

We should all be like God. Grace allows for a society that encourages all, also removing all negative emotions that follow with words. It makes people feel better.

Why its really evil... :

What is the best way to insult someone? Insult them in a way that they don't know they got insulted, and thank you also.

Imagine applying this into everyday life.

''Congratulations! You got promoted!(but i'm just saying this out of grace. You really don't deserve to get promoted.)''

''You are handsome/beautiful/anything descriptive phrase.( Actually, you are ugly. You don't deserve to be called that but i'm just saying this out of grace.)''

The best part probably comes when they thought you were praising them. Then they thank you or blush and celebrate or whatever, while you laugh at them. Secretly. Quietly. Like an assassin...

The consequences does not end here. In a society already full of lies, this insulting method blurs everything that people say. You cannot know what is truth or lies anymore. Knowing that it is possible that everybody who praised you may actually all be insulting you instead will drive anyone insane. If you don't know yet, good for you. But you're still an asshole in everybody else's eyes.

I'm changed!

After being inspired by Onani Master Kurosawa, along with the aid of a friend ( whom i recommended the manga to, and also got inspired...), i've decided to change!....

...

Oh well not rly.

But he did persuaded me to go for a part time job with him. I don't know how it will affect my life but it does allow me something different to do. My friend decided that he will change his life by taking intensive tuitions and part time jobs. So i thought hard. How will this change my life? What is life really (no owl references here)? Is changing good? Whats the purpose of life?

Nobody will really know the answer...

And this owl confirms my answer. But hey, just when my friend persuaded me to work hard for my life. Look what i found again. 5 ways to get rich without a certain discernible skill.

Lets look at the options.

1. Sperm Donors

2. Street entertainers

3. Human Guinea pig

4. Dumpster diving -> Garang guni?

5. Beggars

Hey, if you did everything there, it totals to $187,000. If you are in the USA. Lets convert it to SG$... about 259000. Thats more than 20k per month. Holy. But lets take out street entertainers and human guinea pigs because street entertainer requires some skill and you don't want to die.

And life isn't all about successes! Look at this! There are cases where you fail so badly, you succeed.

Now i don't feel like changing my life anymore.

Manga review

One day, i was feeling bored(well actually i'm always bored), and somehow found this manga called Onani Master Kurosawa. Onani is the Japanese word for masturbation. That is not a typo(how the hell do you typo that anyway??) Alright just in case you thought it read it incorrectly, Onanism is the act of f**king yourself.

What the hell?

So why did i bother to make a blog post about this manga? Its not that i changed and suddenly decided to make this blog a hentai blog. Onani master kurosawa is about a guy who masturbates in a girl's toilet. Despite how stupid that idea is, i read through the end. Even though it was that stupid idea that led me to start reading it, it was nothing like its name. Its not hentai, of course. The story telling was great. This wasn't the first time i read something that started with a lame idea. The 1st was ''My balls'', a manga about a guy who has the whole world's fate lying on his balls. AKA testicles. ''My balls'' was ridiculous(though amusing...), so don't read it. Its hentai by the way.

Reading through the 1st few chapters was okay. It was amusing enough with that seriousness accompanied for the idea, along with the aid of some death note references. But it doesn't stop there. I was hooked on the moment i read halfway through the story. I haven't felt sad for a character for so long. (why, you'll see if you read the story) The portrayal of human emotions is excellent in the art. No pages felt like a waste, or awkward when you read. Its just smoothly leading you to the story.

I'm not going to spoil anything, since anymore saying of stuff will reveal much of the story, spoiling the experience. But i haven't seen a manga this good ( and its a doujin...just fanmade) even in professional manga. If i were to rate this manga, its either a 9.5 or perfect 10 out of 10. minus 0.5 because i have to find some faults and i'm finding it from... somewhere. If you are looking for a good manga with mature themes, this is it. It tells you a lot about change in life.

On a side note though, it tells me again that any stupid idea can be turned into a great story. And it proved my point that names doesn't really matter. If i ever see this in stores, i'll absolutely buy it. Its a fine masterpiece.

Farewell parties

One day, a secondary school friend told me that my secondary school principal is leaving the school. Then i looked at my msn list... and saw another friend gathering people for the principal's farewell party.

Then i thought... wait. So do they like the principal or not? If they like her, why are they celebrating her leaving? If they don't like her, it makes more sense to celebrate her leaving. But why waste time on somebody you don't like?

And... imagine if its this situation instead.

---------------------------------------------

MOE: Alright principal, you shall be moved to this some place that is not your old secondary school forever. You will never go back.

Principal: Alright. Time to spread the news...

Students: NOOO Y U GO!!!!11111111

party bla bla bla......... tears and blood flow out.... and the setting sun bullshit in cliche farewells...

MOE: We're sorry. We made a mistake. It was another principal who was supposed to do that...

Principal: ...... oh shit they already held a farewell party for me. How the hell am i supposed to go back... I'm not so thick skinned.

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As you can see, a farewell party sets up someone who is about to leave so that someone can never come back unless he or she has skin thicker than... regular skin. So the people who went to farewell parties are really the ones who show that they don't want someone to leave, but in their hearts they are happy that they never get to see someone ever again. (I cried at your farewell... because i was too happy!)

Dry runs... rehearsals...

Today, i thought about how sian it is to have dry run tomorrow. One thing that bothered me for a long time is that dry runs and rehearsals, despite what they are called, are not close enough to the real thing. And because they are not the real thing, people are not so serious about it. One indication is that here i am, blogging about how sian it is about dry runs. ( and you, my dear reader, is reading this lame blog instead of practicing)

So i propose... to make all dry runs the real thing.

The idea is that people will scramble to practice like shit since its the real thing, and not blogging or reading blogs. Imagine a scenario like this.

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''OMG OMG TMR OP LIAO!''

''quick practice! have rehearsal! NAO!''

'' dammit our script dam screwd up. kwik make changes.''

Day of OP...( dry run in disguise)

''And so.... blblblbl pera pera pera ....... thus ends our presentation. ty for ur time.''

Teacher: Alright class, see you all next week for the real deal. Its all a joke. This is just a dry run.

You can't legally hit me though so i'll take my leave now.

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Right. So everything is prepared already 1 week before. To make sure students don't forget their stuff suddenly, hide the real dead(date)line... Like say the real thing is the 11th. You tell them that its randomly chosen and it will be held on 9th to 14th or smth. This way they are forced to lose sleep over the real dead(date)line or practice like mad and lose sleep. Think it doesnt work? Think it screws up human morals or rights or smth? Think again.

They are already screwing up human rights and its working, dammit.

Think about why and how you go to school everyday... Did you lose sleep? Did they actually give you a good reason ( 'its for your own good/future' is not a good reason) to go there? Why does school aid your future? (because certain people say that grades are everything? no matter how much ppl emphasizes on non graded stuff, when included it will become grades dammit)

Delicacies

My theory on what is a delicacy is that it totally depends on the mood of the 1st person who ate a certain dish. I remember that sometimes when i eat something for the 1st time, i find that its nice. But the 2nd time onwards its not so nice. Sometimes its the reverse. My theory is that how the food tastes like actually depends on your mood. And the 2nd person who ate it after hearing your comment on the food is affected by your opinions on the food. Its the sheep mentality and the psycho effect that you said its nice. It makes people doubt when they think ''it actually tastes like shit.'' Isn't there such scenarios? When in class you were sure the answer was A, but 39 other students raise up for B. then you begin to doubt.... and raised for B. Then the answer was A.

Its another cracked article now... sadistic dishes

I guess this is what happened:

A ( in good mood) : You know what? Why do we have to cook fish? Lets eat it while its alive!

B: what a good idea! lets try it!

A: Hey it tastes great while its alive! Fresher than a just dead fish!

B tastes the fish : ( hmmm... it tastes about the same....... no wait.... maybe what he said is true) Ok it tastes great!

From then on ikizukuri is known as a delicacy.

I guess this happened when the people 1st started cooking cockroaches:

A( in bad mood): Urgh... lets eat something different. Alright lets eat that black grotesque thingy at the corner of this room.

B: Ok.

A: UrgH! ITS baD!

B tastes: (uh.... actualy its quite nice to me.... but.... hmmmm) Ok its the worst piece of shit i tasted.

From then on cockroaches are never eaten again... No WAIT WHAT?!

Btw, human flesh tastes like tuna.