Random jokes

During midnight, a bus driver continues driving. The only passenger left was a woman with long hair and white clothes. The driver continues driving... and then he caught a glimpse of the mirror. The woman was no longer there. He stopped the bus immediately and turned back. The woman was still there... Then the bus driver continued driving.

Then he saw the mirror, again the woman disappeared! He stopped the car again, turn back, the woman was still there, continued driving. One last time, he looked the mirror, no woman, stopped, turn back, woman still there. The bus driver was afraid. He broke out in cold sweat and started driving the car at full speed. Then he saw the woman walking towards him... with messy hair and a face full of blood. The driver was frozen with fear.

The woman in white whispered in a deep voice: '' What have i wronged you...? Every time i squatted to tie my shoes, you stopped the car to knock my head......''

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有一天魔王把公主抓走，公主就一直叫。。。

魔王：你尽管叫破喉咙吧！没有人会来救你的~

公主：破喉咙~破喉咙~

没有人：公主~我来救你了！

魔王:说曹操曹操就到！

曹操：魔王！你叫我干嘛？

魔王：哇牢! 看到鬼！

鬼：糟！被发现了

糟：胡说！谁发现了我？

谁：关我屁事？

魔王：Oh my GOD!

上帝：谁叫我？

谁：没有人叫你啊！

没有人：我哪有？

从此．．．

魔王精神分裂．．．

很冷，

小心感冒

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This iz crime story
5 frndz lived in a room
Namely
MAD
BRAIN
FOOL
NOBODY
SOMEBODY
1day SOMEBODY killed NOBODY.
At that time BRAIN was in bathroom,
MAD called police.
MAD:Is it police station?
Police:Yes,wht iz the matter?
MAD:SOMEBODY killed NOBODY.
Police:R u mad?
MAD:Yes,i"m MAD.
Police:Dnt u've BRAIN.
MAD:BRAIN iz in bathroom..
Police:U FOOL...
MAD:No,FOOL is reading this sMs

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A little girl fell into the Singapore River and was drowning. Father was crying, everyone was crowding but no one helping.

Suddenly an ah beng jumped into the river and started drowning too. Police came and saved the both of them. Police commended the ah beng for being brave even though he couldn't swim.

Ah beng said: "KNN, who push me!"

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do not make phone calls in the toilets.

One day a man went into a cubicle in a men's toilet to do his business. Suddenly he heard a voice from next cubicle saying:"hi, how are u?"

the man felt weird about having a conversation in the toilet, but he answered, "i'm fine" and the other guy says "so what are you up to?" the man felt very bizarre and said " just travelling". At this point, the man was trying to leave the toilet as fast as he could when he heard the other guy asked " can i come over??"

The man got freaked out and hastily shouts, "no, i'm busy right now!" then the man heard the guy say nervously " hey, i'll call you back later. There's an idiot here who keeps answering me!"

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小牛从小鸡家哭着回来，老牛吃惊见了问为什么哭？

小牛哭诉说被鸡妈妈和全家的鸡追着打。

老牛又问为什么被打？

小牛说，我只是向他们道别，哪知道全村的鸡都很生气。

“小鸡Bye！老鸡Bye！全部鸡Bye！”

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小强明天就结婚了，好紧张，问妈妈该做什么？

妈妈说：“你把你身上最硬的地方，撞进女孩小便的地方就可以了。”

小强好像明白了，妈妈也不多解释。

当晚，小强就把自己的头撞进马桶。

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Copy pasted from somewhere =)