Oh American police...

My prediction of my grades:

Econs: 19 + 15 + 9 = 43/85

Chem P3 : 44/80

Math P1 : ?/100 Not even time to estimate. I'll say a D.

We'll see how accurate they are...

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What happens when stupid people go on the internet? What happens when those stupid people also happen to be the ones enforcing the law? 

THIS:

Hilarious shit considering that these people just mistook an internet meme for a real criminal. Now every bear mascots out there will be considered a pedophile ^^. 

Seriously a pedophile doesn't have to be in a bear suit to be considered a pedophile.

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Because i don't feel like chionging for physics i'll make my post longer. =/

What should i write about? Lets see...

Even though assembly is pretty pointless, let's talk about my school's assembly. Everyday, the sun would be glaring towards us while having assembly, making sure that ultraviolet rays are there to spoil our eyes. Heres a diagram to show how the sun glares:

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|                                         Ceiling                                            |

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---------                    | ----------                                  ---------

wall       |                   |       Sun    |                                 |

             |                  |                   |                                |Wall

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Stairs/Steps/ Stadium seats

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Track/Us/Stupid people gathering for assembly

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''You know, you needn't draw a diagram just for this kind of stupid stuff.''

Yeah. Anyway, I dunno what many people are thinking, but i have no idea why these few days those people announcing stuff like to say ''Students you can try to get out of the sun.'' 

Just install a great human invention called the curtain. =/

....

Nobody thought about that? How clever am i! Even though that thing is pretty big installing a curtain shouldn't be too expensive. After all, our school has enough money to spend on making a TV in front of the General Office that display nothing except nothing ^o^. If their stingy(yeah a huge piece of cloth is more expensive than a flat screen LCD TV)  we can just use old clothes(we're being environmentally friendly here. Seriously a flatscreen LCD TV that displays nothing but light saves us the trees used to make paper.) to hang there just to block the sun. How difficult is that? 

Or maybe the teachers in our school wants us to ''see the light'' everyday. By seeing that light we are reminded of God who ensures that we ... i don't know. Ask a Christian. =/ Maybe the LCD flatscreen TV is also part of their scheme to make us see the light. Because, you know, that LCD flat screen TV does nothing but displays light...

Personality

Today, i thought about my personality. My personality is one who is unsocial, dark, maybe shy, lazy. Hmmm...
Is that right? Something seems wrong. The me that i know isn't that negative. But why do i categorize my personality as such? Isn't it because that is how others see me as? Then, my personality should be different from people to people. My personality in front of my parents. In front of teachers. In front of classmates. In front of friends. In front of strangers.  In the internet. On my blog. Talking to myself...

Persona, a mask in society.

If you think about it this way, no matter how i act differently from how you imagine, you shouldn't be surprised.

The me today is different from the me tomorrow and yesterday.

The me in front of you is different from the me in front of another person.

Bits and bits of impressions of me form my personality. But in the end, is this how i know myself? Hmph. Maybe the way i'm acting and thinking now is partly because of how others think of me but not what do i think of myself. I don't like this. Getting controlled by society... Not only my life but my personality as well..

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I'm dead for my prelims @_@. Not that i would normally really care but society has this much expectations...
Damn the old people who control society.

And damn it. Why does society equate results as one's worth. If you get good results you are a good boy. If you show likable personality you are a successful and impressionable young man. Damn the selfishness! They just wanted to see results that are good to themselves. In the end how much worth is the 3 stick figure 'A' worth to me? Naught! Zero! Nothing!

Surely, when i get good results i feel good. But that is only because they stop pressuring me. They stop bothering me. In the end... i feel so empty. The amount of time i spend on is just to get... this piece of shit? What do i hope to achieve by getting this laminated paper that, depending on how many stick figures there are  on it, can make people think '' This is an impressionable young man with a bright future.'' or ''This is a stupid fool, i should leave him alone.'' No matter what they think of me, i don't care! Fools who judge base on sticks should remain fools. But why does my life have to be affected so?

Of course i know the answer to that question. Because i am poor and do not have social influence on people in the world. If only my parents had groomed me the proper way to earn money = power... instead of following stupid society... Oh. Just in case you misunderstand. It's not that i desire a lot of money. It is just that society desires money to remain, and that it is representative of power. What i want is power. Call me selfish for wanting to change society to suit myself... but what is wrong with that? In the end power prevails. those who don't have power are swallowed by those who have it...

Ahhh!!! Why won't the stupid people of this world start to become smarter?

As expected...

I have wasted my saliva. Talking to my mother just proved that she indeed doesn't understand me.

She doesn't understand that her son doesn't work well under pressure.

She doesn't understand that her son is different from other people in what he likes.

She doesn't understand that her son is someone who doesn't like being forced.

She doesn't understand that her son, on being forced, likes to do the opposite of what is told to him.

She doesn't understand that her son thinks that there is no point in going to school.

She doesn't understand that her son has no aspirations.

I told my mother, ''I have no desire to go to the university.''

Big fuss.

''How can you say that?! That should be your dream! Your responsibility!''

Selfish! How can that be my dream if i have no desire to do that? How is that my responsibility when she's the one who pressured me into going to the university?!

Shortly after that, i asked her, why was i born then? Why did she give birth to me?

She smiled and tried to avoid the question, saying its a natural thing.

Pfft. She doesn't understand. She thought i was asking about sex education. What i want was to hear the purpose of my life. What was she thinking when she decided to give birth to me. Was her answer a selfish one? Or was it because she loved her own flesh?

She then continued, ''How can you give up?! This is your golden opportunity! Your only job now is to study!''

She doesn't understand. I wasn't giving up, and i repeatedly told her that. Having no desire to go to the university IS NOT the same as quitting school. Hahaha. How wonderful is school. I have no back road anyway. Once i quit i have no other skills that would help me live. So much for education. They force you to go through a grueling 10 (+2) years of it. Then you realize, if you quit, you have nothing. There is only one path to go.

Yet, why doesn't anybody understand that simple logic that what they teach at school is useless to helping us survive? Why doesn't my mother understand?

The conclusion was that my mother is an idiot.

I shouldn't have said anything to her in the first place. Now she is doing exactly everything that will make my life miserable and fail.

Pressure.

Forcing her own dreams on me.

Telling me what to do even when i have no desire to do so.

...

What's the use of such a life? The system made by humans can't be changed by humans, even when everybody realizes its uselessness. ...  Everybody? Or is it just youths? The adults are useless. Once presented by a bigger power like the government, they become cowardly. They have no desire to protest. They have no desire to improve.  ''Just follow the flow. Do what everybody else does.'' Thats what all adults do. Even when they have the power... The rich and powerful are like this as well. Just because they are already settled, they don't give a hoot. With the system being given to them, they abuse it and turn it into what is convenient for them. ''Just follow the flow. Do what everybody else does.'' Thats why the current system doesn't improve.

What i fear now is that i would grow up to be such useless adults. Or that i am the only one having such thoughts. What if even my friends doesn't understand this? Haiz... I can only blame the education system for being successful then, if i ever become such an adult. If they successfully turn everybody into having such thoughts. Not having aspiration. Just doing what everybody else does.

I want to fight the system. But what power do i have? Everybody, even i, think like this. ...but what can i do to persuade them? By destroying the government? Becoming a terrorist? Becoming the president? Going by the flow then changing it from within will never work. I will just be swallowed by the system. Even if i become the most powerful man in the political system, this will never work out well. If there is any God or Devil here, i don't mind giving my soul away if i can obtain power. This life is useless as it is, just going by the flow, anyway.

Singapore news + ''favorite food''?

This has been bothering me for a while... but Singapore TV news is damn slow isn't it?

Last time, when they announced that people reported that there are reception problems with Iphone 4... i already knew about it. About few days ago.

Today, they reported about Japan's oldest person actually being dead for 30 years already, while collecting more than $100,000 of pensions.... I already knew about it 1 week ago.

Why is it called news if i already know about it? Haiz... In fact Singapore TV has nothing of interest to me. No interesting channels, repeated broadcasting, requiring a license just to watch TV... I wonder why people still watch TV in SG.

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This has been bothering me for a while also.

When people talk about their favorite food, i always wonder how people can give straight answers.

For example, lets say that someone says that his favorite food is Chicken Rice. Who cook that Chicken Rice? Which Chicken Rice stall? What mood were you in when you eat Chicken Rice?

In other words, the problem lies in that the answer isn't specific enough. One stall's chicken rice tastes differently from another stall's chicken rice. Also, what mood you were in when you ate that chicken rice and decided ''Chicken rice, i choose you!(as my favorite food)'' is also important.

Also, its also pretty inaccurate to just say a food name as  your favorite food. When you choose what is your favorite food, there is definitely one time where you ate that food and thought that it was damn nice.

But if you think about it, what if the person whose favorite food is chicken rice 1st ate chicken rice at a chicken rice stall that sells the most disgusting chicken rice? He would then avoid eating chicken rice anymore because of the trauma.

So what made him make chicken rice his favorite food? He ate nice chicken rice the 1st time, then continued to eat it, because its nice, presumably from the same stall. Then any other chicken rice that is worse than that particular stall becomes bad chicken rice.

So, when you say what is your favorite food, please answer in this way:
''Chicken rice from XXXX. Btw, on XXXday its not that nice because XXXXXXX.''

The cursed boy and 2 lame-ass rules(among other lame-ass rules) of his school

I am cursed. Or at least my umbrella is. I have no idea why but every umbrella i bought will break when it finally rains. Like on Friday, i finally left school, then swung my umbrella for a bit and woosh the handle went flying.

The umbrella broke into 2. OTL

Maybe its a signal. Maybe its telling me that i don't need umbrellas. Maybe its telling me that i should act romantic and sing in the rain.

No, not romantic at all.

OR maybe, its telling me that i shouldn't mind about the conventions of mankind. If it rains, it doesn't mean i have to use an umbrella. Similarly if theres school it doesn't mean i have to go. Its telling me to be different! To be unique! To create a revolution!

All just because my umbrella keep breaking? Okay maybe not really.

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School is lame-ass. Everybody knows that. But there are 2 even more lame-ass among the lame-ass rules among the school rules. I don't know about you, but the 2 lame-ass among the lame-ass rule exists within my school.

1. You are allowed to wear your PE-shirt to school, but only if its the 1st period.


Notice the 1st period in italics. Yes, they are pretty anal about that. They have no considerations whether your PE doesn't have any break before for you to change, they have no considerations whether your PE is after the 1 hour assembly on Thursdays.

It has to be the *1st* period of the day.


WTF? Then whats the point?

On Thursday, theres a 1 hour assembly. Right after that assembly is PE. So, i was in the assembly in my PE attire... Then came the teacher.

''Why are you in your PE attire?''
''We have PE right after assembly.''
''But is it the 1st period!!''
''No, but its RIGHT AFTER assembly.''
''I know, but is it the FIRST PERIOD!!!!!!!''
''No,'' *headaches* ''ITS RIGHT AFTER ASSEMBLY!!!!!''
''SO IS IT THE 1ST PERIOD!''
*blood bursts out of head*
''We have guests(the Watoto Choir) this morning. Don't embarrass  yourself and change into your attire now.''

Seriously, i'm pretty sure people have no desire to see a school so inflexible and foolish.

And oh yeah, i swear that the guests don't really care. After the performance started, a lady in the choir started walking through the stage even though she has no role so far. She was totally like ''Oh yea i won't even bother looking for the backstage so i'll just walk the front stage muahahahah.''

2. You are not allowed to leave school before 1pm. 


And they mean it. Even if all your teachers are miraculously sick for that day, even if your lesson ended before  1, even if your house is burning, even if the world is ending, school will not allow you out until 1pm. Just kidding about the last 2( but who knows maybe they will really do it).

Seriously, i was standing there at the side gate, waiting. And theres the security guard waiting for the exact time of 1pm to open the gate. I go to the main gate. Another security guard says ''Not yet 1pm''. What are they? Robots designed by society and the government? Of course they are!

And what is this?! Is school a prison?

OH-... What am i saying.

School is worse than prison.

The Observer

This world is very different from where the observer came from. In his world, everything is perfect. There are no prejudice. No wars. No conflicts. People have complete trust for each other. There is no money as well, for its existence is unneeded.(even though it was considered for, but soon people realize that it's obsolete)

Paradise. That's what people would call the place the observer came from. 

But this world the observer currently exist in now, is very different. People are foolish. Selfish. Unable to trust. 

Being the polar opposite of Paradise, this place, called Reality, could be considered Hell. 

Ever since the observer was born, that was what he thought. 

The beginning of his life was simple, similar to Paradise. Life wasn't bad as a 1 to 6 years old. All the observer had to do was watch the world as it is. Most children don't know how to doubt. Life was like paradise.

Then came education. The observer soon forgot his purpose. His aspirations. The world, led by an unknown force, created many things. Money and education are but one of these mysterious objects that puzzles the observer. 

People are forced to take education. Then forced to make a choice, even when they have no idea what to choose. People are unhappy about it, but nobody made complains. Everybody was led by the unknown force and the few powerful people that governs the Reality. They say its for the better, but the observer knows better. If it is truly for a better tomorrow, then why are people unhappy? Education is indeed a paradoxical existence. To make ourselves happy, we make ourselves suffer. 

Why is the observer called the observer? Even he does not know. The only thing  he knows is that this world is not for him. But there is nothing he can do. He is just an observer. Unless he obtains unlimited power, he can never change Reality to Paradise. 

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School is a waste of time... But i wouldn't know how to use the time i saved. Maybe i forgot. Maybe i don't have it in the 1st place. I feel like this world doesn't really matter anymore... 

How long more?

... for do i have to continue this dead life? I feel dead at school. No thats wrong... i may be really dead at school. The only thing i sought for when at school. The only thing i long for... is home. Everything at school feels pointless. Everybody seems to be smiling and laughing. How much of these are forced? How much are faked? How much are to conceal their unhappiness? 

For what, do we continue if all we have is pain...

Will be pointlessness continue until i complete my education...

No. 

It will continue.

As long as i don't have money... these pointlessness cannot stop. Yet this pointlessness must continue. Because society demands it. Because society says that it brings us money. IF WE DO THIS POINTLESS CRAP, WE WILL BE RICH LIKE FUCK! Get a high paying job! Get high income!

BE RICH LIKE FUCK THEN USE YOUR MONEY TO GET YOURSELF A LIFE.

...What pointlessness... We do pointless things to continue doing pointless things. 

For what then, have i started to do these pointless things? Why have i not stopped? 

Do i like it?

What a foolish question... I HATE IT

I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT!!!!!!

Thats right... I am already dead.

The only place and time i feel at ease... Is when i watch the illusory world of stories. Ahh... How beautiful... the dreams... the emotions... the characters not present in this world... 

When will i join them? 

...

Never... until i obtain unlimited power... money... or when someone with similar thoughts gain them.

The people in this world... the modern world... have little dreams. They say they want to do those things... but those are mere wishes. Mere wants. Admiration. 

Definitely not a dream.

They find excuses to not pursue them. And yet even when it is obtained, their desire is not satisfied. 

When given unlimited power, they give up their dream. 

Right. What people wish for is money! And to obtain it, somebody else will have to lose it!

There is no turning back already. The world has wished for this... There is only 3 paths left for me to go. 

Continue this pointlessness and die pointlessly.

Continue this pointlessness, become one of the rich like fuck, end my own pointlessness. Then restart my own pointlessness. Then die pointless.

Obtain unlimited power. Change the world. End this pointlessness.

Note: This is not a suicide note, despite all the hints that seems like it down there... I would rather end the world then kill myself. Suiciding because of the foolishness of other people is stupid.