Personality

Today, i thought about my personality. My personality is one who is unsocial, dark, maybe shy, lazy. Hmmm...
Is that right? Something seems wrong. The me that i know isn't that negative. But why do i categorize my personality as such? Isn't it because that is how others see me as? Then, my personality should be different from people to people. My personality in front of my parents. In front of teachers. In front of classmates. In front of friends. In front of strangers.  In the internet. On my blog. Talking to myself...

Persona, a mask in society.

If you think about it this way, no matter how i act differently from how you imagine, you shouldn't be surprised.

The me today is different from the me tomorrow and yesterday.

The me in front of you is different from the me in front of another person.

Bits and bits of impressions of me form my personality. But in the end, is this how i know myself? Hmph. Maybe the way i'm acting and thinking now is partly because of how others think of me but not what do i think of myself. I don't like this. Getting controlled by society... Not only my life but my personality as well..

-----------------------------------------------------------------

I'm dead for my prelims @_@. Not that i would normally really care but society has this much expectations...
Damn the old people who control society.

And damn it. Why does society equate results as one's worth. If you get good results you are a good boy. If you show likable personality you are a successful and impressionable young man. Damn the selfishness! They just wanted to see results that are good to themselves. In the end how much worth is the 3 stick figure 'A' worth to me? Naught! Zero! Nothing!

Surely, when i get good results i feel good. But that is only because they stop pressuring me. They stop bothering me. In the end... i feel so empty. The amount of time i spend on is just to get... this piece of shit? What do i hope to achieve by getting this laminated paper that, depending on how many stick figures there are  on it, can make people think '' This is an impressionable young man with a bright future.'' or ''This is a stupid fool, i should leave him alone.'' No matter what they think of me, i don't care! Fools who judge base on sticks should remain fools. But why does my life have to be affected so?

Of course i know the answer to that question. Because i am poor and do not have social influence on people in the world. If only my parents had groomed me the proper way to earn money = power... instead of following stupid society... Oh. Just in case you misunderstand. It's not that i desire a lot of money. It is just that society desires money to remain, and that it is representative of power. What i want is power. Call me selfish for wanting to change society to suit myself... but what is wrong with that? In the end power prevails. those who don't have power are swallowed by those who have it...

Ahhh!!! Why won't the stupid people of this world start to become smarter?