CNY = Santa?!

Since its CNY... Lets talk about Santa.

Its all red, so its all good.

If you think about it. Santa and CNY have stuff in common. This is especially true to the Cai Shen. Their red, they bring stuff to people (money vs presents).

What does this mean? Photoshop time!

....Sa...SAnta!

Ca....CAi Shen!

So what does this all mean? Its very simple. Cai Shen, according to wikipedia, '' vast majority of stories agree that Cai Shen lived during the early Qin Dynasty.'' Thats 221 BC–206 BC. And Santa, is created after that. Santa's origin, Sinter Klaas, lived during year 280 to 342. Of course this brings us to the conclusion. 

Santa Claus = Cai Shen. 

During the Qin Dynasty, Cai Shen had black beard. He gave out money, and helped the country to prosper. But he didn't think it was enough. Why should the Chinese be the only one who benefit? So he migrated to .... Wherever the Dutch were. Because his a deity, he can't die. But he took his time to walk there. 

When he reached there, he realised that Chinese currency cannot work anymore. So instead, he brought over presents to give it to the children. Thats why Santa gave presents instead of money. 

Now, After travelling so long, no matter his a deity or not, he is bound to get older. That explains his White beard!

Now you realise the costume is slightly different. Thats simple to explain too. There are 2 reasonings to this.
1. He keeps washing the same clothes, but the patterns fall out/ got washed.
2. His clothes were too old, and he needed a new red costume. There were no Chinese patterns in wherever the Dutch were, so he took any red costume.

But what about the reindeers?

That, is simple to explain too. Santa Claus's reindeer came from the 1823 poem, A Visit from St Nicholas. This means that:

1. Cai Shen obtained the reindeer while travelling to wherever the Dutch were. OR

2. Cai Shen got lazy of using his own leg, and got the reindeers soon after for his own convenience. This also explains why Santa is fatter. 

Blending

You had this inspiration to make the best blender ever. The idea was great, you know the blender will make it BIG. You set up a company, made a team of scientists to make your blender... made it the most user-friendly blender ever... And you made yourself as a well known company called Blendtec.

Steps to success for a blending machine company:
1. Make blending machine.
2. Make company.
3. ???
4. PROFIT!

Then, you decided that this isn't enough.

The blender was absolutely the best thing on Earth... It needs to do more.... MOAR!!!

Even your cat says so

Something like, being able to blend Cameras without much effort. Why? Because the blender is awesome, thats why.



That wasn't enough to satisfy you. You saw it... Your Iphone... is old. Time to upgrade. What to do with the old Iphone? Of course! You have your blender.



Of course, having the absolutely beast blender shouldn't stop at there. It should be able to turn diamond to dust within seconds. But diamonds are too expensive, so lets try Cubic zirconia, which has a rating of 8 on the hardness scale compared to 10 of diamond.



Time to come back to reality.

I would never want that blender in my kitchen.

Reasons:
1. Its dangerous. Obvious. I don't want to know what it can blend. It might be amusing to take your enemies' favorite game console or phone and toss it in, but why else would you need a blender this powerful for?
2. How much would this blender cost? $399.95 to $999.95. Of course it wouldn't be considered much if you are a blending expert much as this founder is.
3. Sure, the site said not to blend stuff like your Iphone and diamonds. But of course that might be because of legal issues, afterall what else can this blender do?
4. You have a company head which records videos and in everyone of them go:
     I have this item.
     The main question is: Will it blend?
     Blended -> Don't breathe this.
     Pour out blended crap.
     Show friendly face and say: YES! IT BLENDS!

5. Remember reason number 1. It is never fun to put anything you own inside. Of course that includes any children and animals in your home.

No wait, what?

OH MY GAH- !

The early bird catches the worm...

...

But what about the worm? People always said these type of sentences and and famous quotes, but they never think too deep into it. They always assumed that waking up early is good. Just because, people say its good. Now lets delve into the reasons why this saying is bad, worse, evil, cruel, savage, etc etc.

1. It never say what you are.

      So are you the bird? Or the worm? If you are the worm, you are stupid. People said to you this saying dunno how many gazillion times, but you insist in the mornings. I hate metaphors, but let's say that it's like seeing that a train is on the railway, and u happily jump on the railway, and WAVE! Ok maybe you didn't wave, but you jumped on the railway.

     But it isn't much better being the bird. It's not worth it. Even if you wake up early to get the worm, it doesn't mean that late birds won't get food. In short, your waking up early to waste your time.

2. You have to eat a worm.(if your a bird)

This popular saying teaches us to stay up late, but people interpret it the other way. What most people don't realize is that this saying also teaches us about life and its cruelty. In order to save yourself, you have to eat somebody else. Its the same in this world. You have to be SELFISH.

I have to be a shellfish? Uh okay what kind?

For everything that you try to achieve, somebody else will lose out. It's that cruel. Whenever you savor your grilled chicken with cream mushroom sauce, you are depriving some poor people out there in the world of potential food. If you got a raise, somebody will get demoted. Lets not forget that humans raised animals just to eat them.

Another metaphor: You know those witches who raised children and kids just to eat them? Humans are like those witches. Instead we're more clever and cunning in that we brutally hunt those children down instead of waiting to prey on innocent lost kids.

Japan

Its a known fact that Japanese are crazy perverts that are amazing at the same time. 1st, lets start with some amazing crap.

Next, some gameshows

Some commercials

Most disturbing commercial ever;

Have fun with the disturbing song and sauce.

AND THE WINNER!! JAPANESE IN THE INTERNET!!!
Explanation: They used random sounds found in videos and used it to make music...



Code geass + FF8...



Wow freakout kid become music....

VCT says:

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WAIT, WHAT? WTH WAS THAT?! WHATS WITH THAT DISTURBING POSE!! THAT PELVIC THRUST!! THAT HORSE! 

Wet Dreams

The last post was Dreams, so this has to be a continuation. Wet Dreams.

!!

No this isn't about to turn into a porno blog.

Random picture because can't find ''relieved cat'' in Google.

Ok. So lets go back to the topic of Wet Dreams. One day, i thought. When humans 1st surfaced... did they have wet dreams? Then i thought: How far can the mayonnaise shoot? If it is quite far... Isn't it very disgusting? It would be unpleasant to find mayonnaise on your face in the mornings. Ah. It's not real mayonnaise. Don't think that the white stuff you eat with fish and chips or other food is human produced. 

Then i thought... time to wikipedia. They haven't found the actual cause of Wet dreams. And apparently its called a disease in the 18th and 19th century... So i thought. What if Wet Dreams didn't exist back then? As humans become more and more civilized, they came to fantasize more and think more about porn. Then Wet Dreams came about as a result of evolution. But,no. this isn't going to turn into a scientific theory blog. 

So lets talk about cats taking over the world.

''WTF? Damn random.'' Says the cat.

Alright, to explain, lets begin with the 6 adorable behaviors that cats do with evil explanations. If your lazy to read, lets just say that everything the cat does, it is doing it thinking that it is king and ruler of your house. Next, look at this video: The cat that generated $10 million bucks.

Currently, the gross budget for the funds required to take over the world is at least $10 million. How do i know..?

Ok. That was a few years ago i think. Well. It was a homeless cat. Then few years ago is a train master. 
Now, it is the executive of Wakayama railway co. Holy shit. 
Because that was gay, lets input the same face of the shocked cat.

Okay, i was just lazy to find another picture.

What would be next? A few years later, it won't be a surprise to see Wakayama gaining in shares and stocks. 
Time to invest... Next, Wakayama will expand and take over other industries. 
Then the only branded goods in the world will be Wakayama. By this time, 
Tama will be at the top. After that, it's time for more. Tama will be revered God. 
Thats when Tama will unleash his troops of cats. TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!

Mark my words. The internet is already full of cats. Just google lolcats.
Its no exaggeration that the internet almost belongs to cats now.

AHHHHHHHHHHH THEY TAKING OVER THIS BLOG TO-

Dreams

Yesterday i had a dream. No, i should not say its yesterday. Technically its today, since i went to sleep at 4 am. Also, i'm pretty sure most of the dreams take place when your about to wake up. Or at least not right after you sleep... So it should be today. Anyway, me having a dream is rare. Usually i have a dreamless sleep. When i have dreams its usually senseless and i don't remember them. But this time, i remembered. And the dream actually has meaning... Or does it?


In the dream, i bought a bloody guitar for $75. I don't know why i know its $75. I just know after the guitar appeared in my hand. The problem is... That guitar is practically like a toy guitar. Its like some kid just took a chainsaw and carved the shape of a guitar from a tree. The strings were... entangled. When i strummed, the guitar produced sounds like those of a rubber band. Occasionally the sounds of a beautiful guitar is played.


Suddenly, like any other dream, the scene changed and i'm on some bloody island complaining about my broken kid guitar that cost $75. 


Either there wasn't much, or i forgot, the scene changed again. I'm in a hall... playing Yugioh cards. o.0 In the dream i said that i never played for a long time. Which is true. But I forgot what happened in the duel ^^. I hope i won... 


Wait, what? I remembered. Because i was in a hall, there was some announcement. But, i continued playing. Yet again, i'm sitting also. I'm watching myself playing, without knowing what happened.


Suddenly i'm at the canteen. Watching my friends eat. While their eating their playing a lame game. Which involves food... Then in my head i thought of a lame game idea! 


Then i woke up.


If i'm a dream seer, it probably means that i will be buying a guitar, but failing to play it so badly, and it will spoil. And i got ripped off. Next, i'll be alone, crying about my guitar. Then when school starts, i'll sleep and dream about playing yugioh. Or maybe i will actually play Yugioh again. When i wake up in the hall, it will be a break. So i will probably go to the canteen... and watch people play lame games while i'm eating. 


For some reason, i'm going to think that's a pretty accurate interpretation. If i'm a dream seer. But i sure do hope i'm not one looking at the contents of the dream...

Lockerz

This blog has gained a new look. Because VCT just realised that making your blog nicer is very easy... Just copy and paste -.- ......... But anyway, the important thing is the title. Lockerz is a website that allows you to earn PTZ, then use those PTZ to earn prizes. 

Some prizes i remember:

40 PTZ = 2GB Thumbdrive

325 PTZ = Ipod touch/itouch 8gb

600 PTZ = Ipod touch/itouch 32GB

dunno how many thousand PTZ = Mac Book

How to earn PTZ:

1. Log in everyday = 2 PTZ

2. Everyday got a stupid question answer it = 2 PTZ

3. Invite Friend = 2 PTZ ( up to 20)

4. When all 20 friend slots full = earnings double for 1 and 2.

5. When you just registered, PAY ATTENTION. A game will start, money will starting falling down, and you got this board then you need to move around USING YOUR MOUSE to catch those money. Get those money, you gain some PTZ. Catch more get more. Thats your starting PTZ and the only time you can get a lot of PTZ... I got 20 only .... 

By now, you should have some questions. So i shall answer them...

Q: HOLY SHEEETZZ! How do i start?

You can only join by getting people to invite you. So let me invite you. Or else i wasted time on writing this. Just post your email at the tagboard saying lockerz, talk to me on msn, or send victory453@hotmail.com an email saying lockerz... i'll send you the invite.

Q: You stupid N00b! This is a !@#!#ing scam!

Go to www.youtube.com , search for Lockerz unboxing or lockerz proof. There are lots of them... 

Q: HOLY MOLY! But how they earn $$Money$$?

They don't :O. They are doing this as a free service... Or not. Dunno starting when they will start selling stuff, but the PTZ system will still be there. So basicly, this PTZ thingy is an advertisement to get more people to join to get more potential buyers. But of course cheapos like you and me are NEVER going to buy ANYTHING.

Q: You #^#@ N00bi$!! I check google and so many people say scam!!

If you google and see all the sites, you will notice that about 50/50 say its scam and not. For me i'd say why not, no harm trying. And if its a damn elaborate scam, they would have to spend a lot of money to hire people to type those proofs. And what would they gain by scamming? It if was a PTC scam, then they would earn from your clicks, but i don't see how they can scam you. Hmm... Maybe spam your inbox.

Also, they have a limited stock for stuff. So basicly you won't always get what you want. =( 

Q: WAaaa@@@... Singapore have or not...

They ship internationally. It takes longer to reach Singapore though, for obvious reasons. About 2 to 3 weeks for shipping outside USA i think. And for obvious reasons put your real mailing address to receive the gifts. 

Q: WAHAHAHAHA I saw some hax on youtube imma tryin them out.

Good luck... tell me the result :( I might consider trying

REMEMBER LET ME INVITE YOU... If you decide to join.