Very short post. Just wanna say that my I transferred some of my blog articles to Wikinut. Visit it here:
http://www.wikinut.com/blending/t3a_st10/1aiq3ts9/
Why did i do that? Just testing out how much money i can earn using it. If a lot of people view that page, i can earn a lot of money. If you looking to earning through your random articles then here it is... http://www.wikinut.com/in/sqqi/
Wikinut
Haiz
Maybe because i don't sleep enough. Maybe because i matured. Maybe because i'm bored... I started to feel emotionless towards anything this eyes and body encounters. Strangely, this emotionless feeling is present even when i show any emotion on the face. How to say this... The feeling is just like that of just watching another person. I feel like i'm living in the wrong body. Every time i look at the mirror, i suspect if i am even looking at my own face.
Even when i'm thinking to myself, i feel like a different person in my mind. But come to think of it, how am i to know if this is a sort of dissociative identity disorder? And of course, being the person i am, i searched the internet. and HOLY CRAP! Look at this and this! Look under symptoms of dissociative identity disorder. And the 2nd link ... if your lazy to click here it is:
Depersonalization (or depersonalisation) is a malfunction or anomaly of the mechanism by which an individual has self-awareness. It is a feeling of watching oneself act, while having no control over a situation.Sufferers feel they have changed, and the world has become less real, vague, dreamlike, or lacking in significance. It can be a disturbing experience, since many feel that, indeed, they are living in a "dream".
I am pretty scary... Being able to predict my own sickness before it gets worse... Let's take another highlight to symptoms of dissociative identity disorder.
This, i feel this all the time. This i suspect is the exact reason why i failed my GP. I think one idea and the next idea contradicts the 1st.
I feel this time to time. But its not unexplainable. I need more sleep...
This scary shit is happening to me this year. No, rather it happened since school started when i'm dunno how many years old. It worsened last year. And this year is worse than last. Whenever i reach home from school and slack around... i then look at the clock and realize its 11pm already.
Look at the 1st paragraph of this blog post
Derealization (DR) is an alteration in the perception or experience of the external world so that it seems strange or unreal. Other symptoms include feeling as though one's environment is lacking in spontaneity, emotional colouring and depth.Yep, exactly what i'm feeling. Look at the 1st paragraph again.
It's pretty severe. No matter how many times i look at my organic chemistry notes, i always seem to forget them. You can tell me something 5 seconds before and i will forget it. This forgetfulness is also part of the cause that this blog hasn't received much posts this year. I forget my inspirations.
Remember how i said about whenever i'm thinking to myself, how would i know its not a split personality? What if it is? Then congratulations to my other personality who never talks to me. You have dissociative identity disorder and so have i.
Conclusion: It's confirmed. I have dissociative identity disorder.
A normal day at school...
It was, a normal day at school. You did the normal stuff you did at school, chatting with friends about stupid useless stuff, slept through lessons (or faking that you were paying attention), etc etc. Then at lunch time, you saw a person who caught your attention at the canteen. That person brought a lunch box.
Google search for lunch box. This is a lunch box?
Not that its very unusual. Lunch boxes just aren't that common... But you looked on anyway. Then the person opened the lunch box and... Took out a carrot. Raw carrot. At this time you were like ''?!''
Illustrated: Your face.
You thought: What in bugs bunny does a person bring out a carrot for?? But then thought again. Maybe this person really likes carrot. The school canteen doesn't sell those. So he brought one. You weren't entirely wrong. That person did ate some carrot. But more accurately, he...
Your face was like @_@ O_O o_O ಠ_ಠ
ಠ_ಠ
But it hasn't ended... The person took the rest of the carrot and ate it. Next, he took out... a... big broccoli?!
This is not a broccoli... probably... ... i... i hope.......
You thought... Maybe the carrot thing wasn't that awesome. That person DID cheated by using parts that were not carrots. What do you know, that person now uses a knife... and...
Baffling!
That person then eats the rest of the broccoli. But you know that any meal is not complete without meat!! Meal and Meat only has 1 letter difference!! In writing its just a few mm or 1 strike difference!! You intensely waited for it... He took out an egg. You know the rest...
And i thought that being professional on the recorder is imba...
Humans
''FLURRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrGGGGgggggH#$%#$^!''
Anything that doesn't look human, is not human though.
If you think about it, a perfect robot that is created to be like human can be created. When it encounters situation that requires it to be happy, it can be programmed to act happy. Angry situation, act angry. Etc etc. So what defines people from robots? Humans are the same aren't they? In happy situations, they become happy. Angry situations, angry. In fact, you have people with autism and Asperger's Syndrome, who don't know how to become happy in happy situations nor angry in angry situations. This type of people are like dysfunctional robots or robots that aren't that developed yet.
''HELLO ALL! FUCK YOU ALL! YAY''
A kid with Asperger's may not know what the middle finger means,
nor understand people's reaction to it.
''WHAT YOU SAY!''
A normal baby person, however, knows how to react to that.
...Although Aspergers' may be the perfect excuse for insulting people.
(still holding middle finger) ''Why're you so angry? I only said 'hi'.''
But thats why i don't understand why people treat humans differently. They say humans have emotions... but aren't those controlled reactions created by chemical reactions?
What is imba?
When you see guitar, piano, violin, etc etc players who play well, you think they are good. That was what i thought too. But then it came across my mind what is the true ''imba''. What is imba isn't a guitar or piano player who can play it well. Its a recorder player who can play sounds better than those players.
What i thought : Playing good music with kiddy instruments. THATS genius. But the recorder wasn't as kiddy as i thought. People have became professionals playing the recorder! Wikipedia source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Recorder_players
Not convinced?
Heres a starter....
Getting even better
I'm sorry for looking down on you... $3 piece of crap... ( at least i think its around $3?)
Professional recorder band....
So i thought to myself. There must be something even better. The recorder isn't that kiddy. (Although, it would be cool to go to your friends who play other instruments. Then when they ask around what instrument you play, you show them your $3 recorder. They laugh. Thats when you prove them wrong...)
You know when you press the phone, a tone comes out? Try playing music using that. That is the true imba. And obviously I'm not talking about playing stuff like baba black sheep on it.
People have tried it on youtube... but they weren't good enough. Thats why, if you can do it. Thats genius... OH SHIT
I have a theory...
I can never get myself to get to sleep before 1 am. I know its bad for my health, my mental ability to do anything, and my physical ability to do anything. In short, without sleep, i get stupid. Its not my fault, its the system's fault, but thats another topic. On the personal scale, its obvious why this happens. I hate the mornings. I love the midnight.
On a larger scale of the human race. I think humans are migratory creatures. Think about it. If humans were meant to sleep at 12 am, but i sleep at 1 am, so, if i migrate to a country where it is 12 am, i will become normal. This phenomena of humans sleeping at such late times is not a hint that we are getting less sleep. It is a hint for us to move to another place where we can have more sleep. However, most humans don't get this hint... Even santa feels its impact.
From here i can go into the theory of globalisation and that humans are supposed to interact with each other or what crap. But i'm lazy.
Jump topic!
I have never been able to understand the purpose of feeling nervous or angry. We feel it, but we can't do anything about it. A google search of why we get nervous, the purpose of nervous, give me crap like ''because you fear this, fear that, anxiety, stress'' blah blah blah. Obviously those people mistook WHY for HOW. Fear, anxiety, stress CAUSES nervousness. ITS NOT WHY.
What i want to know, is for what do we feel nervous? It declines our performance, hinders judgment ability, clouds our ability to think. Its a useless emotion. Why does nervousness exist in the 1st place? To make us lousier beings?
Its the same thing with fats. The more we eat, the more we get fat. But for what do we gain that fat for? Surely, it allows us to survive longer in times of starvation.... Maybe. But considering that it creates other crap load of ill-effects, for what does our body want to keep those fats? Make us die easier?
....
Come to think of it. My blog posts are getting more and more serious. But not that it matters since almost nobody reads it anyway orz.
Its....bad.....
The Chinese do lots of stuff that makes it seem like whatever happens during the CNY will signify what will happen in the rest of the year. I think its going to be a bad year for me.
1. My mouse spoil for no reason. Well, only the roller part.
2. I spilled my drink.
3. I lost my pencil.
4. I lost my ruler.
5. I got fatter?
Oh shit... All these small little stuff may be insignificant, but its still bad. If that Chinese belief is true, then my year ahead will be full of small mistakes and blunders.
But looking on the bright side,
1. I can get a new mouse.
2. The drink is water, and it spilled not on my laptop but on the floor.
3. Buy a new pencil
4. Buy a new ruler.
5. Food is not a problem... Probably. In case of starvation i'll survive longer. Maybe.
Or maybe its a signal to make me quit whatever i'm doing... and do something else that is NEW and BETTER.
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