As expected...

I have wasted my saliva. Talking to my mother just proved that she indeed doesn't understand me.

She doesn't understand that her son doesn't work well under pressure.

She doesn't understand that her son is different from other people in what he likes.

She doesn't understand that her son is someone who doesn't like being forced.

She doesn't understand that her son, on being forced, likes to do the opposite of what is told to him.

She doesn't understand that her son thinks that there is no point in going to school.

She doesn't understand that her son has no aspirations.

I told my mother, ''I have no desire to go to the university.''

Big fuss.

''How can you say that?! That should be your dream! Your responsibility!''

Selfish! How can that be my dream if i have no desire to do that? How is that my responsibility when she's the one who pressured me into going to the university?!

Shortly after that, i asked her, why was i born then? Why did she give birth to me?

She smiled and tried to avoid the question, saying its a natural thing.

Pfft. She doesn't understand. She thought i was asking about sex education. What i want was to hear the purpose of my life. What was she thinking when she decided to give birth to me. Was her answer a selfish one? Or was it because she loved her own flesh?

She then continued, ''How can you give up?! This is your golden opportunity! Your only job now is to study!''

She doesn't understand. I wasn't giving up, and i repeatedly told her that. Having no desire to go to the university IS NOT the same as quitting school. Hahaha. How wonderful is school. I have no back road anyway. Once i quit i have no other skills that would help me live. So much for education. They force you to go through a grueling 10 (+2) years of it. Then you realize, if you quit, you have nothing. There is only one path to go.

Yet, why doesn't anybody understand that simple logic that what they teach at school is useless to helping us survive? Why doesn't my mother understand?

The conclusion was that my mother is an idiot.

I shouldn't have said anything to her in the first place. Now she is doing exactly everything that will make my life miserable and fail.

Pressure.

Forcing her own dreams on me.

Telling me what to do even when i have no desire to do so.

...

What's the use of such a life? The system made by humans can't be changed by humans, even when everybody realizes its uselessness. ...  Everybody? Or is it just youths? The adults are useless. Once presented by a bigger power like the government, they become cowardly. They have no desire to protest. They have no desire to improve.  ''Just follow the flow. Do what everybody else does.'' Thats what all adults do. Even when they have the power... The rich and powerful are like this as well. Just because they are already settled, they don't give a hoot. With the system being given to them, they abuse it and turn it into what is convenient for them. ''Just follow the flow. Do what everybody else does.'' Thats why the current system doesn't improve.

What i fear now is that i would grow up to be such useless adults. Or that i am the only one having such thoughts. What if even my friends doesn't understand this? Haiz... I can only blame the education system for being successful then, if i ever become such an adult. If they successfully turn everybody into having such thoughts. Not having aspiration. Just doing what everybody else does.

I want to fight the system. But what power do i have? Everybody, even i, think like this. ...but what can i do to persuade them? By destroying the government? Becoming a terrorist? Becoming the president? Going by the flow then changing it from within will never work. I will just be swallowed by the system. Even if i become the most powerful man in the political system, this will never work out well. If there is any God or Devil here, i don't mind giving my soul away if i can obtain power. This life is useless as it is, just going by the flow, anyway.

Singapore news + ''favorite food''?

This has been bothering me for a while... but Singapore TV news is damn slow isn't it?

Last time, when they announced that people reported that there are reception problems with Iphone 4... i already knew about it. About few days ago.

Today, they reported about Japan's oldest person actually being dead for 30 years already, while collecting more than $100,000 of pensions.... I already knew about it 1 week ago.

Why is it called news if i already know about it? Haiz... In fact Singapore TV has nothing of interest to me. No interesting channels, repeated broadcasting, requiring a license just to watch TV... I wonder why people still watch TV in SG.

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This has been bothering me for a while also.

When people talk about their favorite food, i always wonder how people can give straight answers.

For example, lets say that someone says that his favorite food is Chicken Rice. Who cook that Chicken Rice? Which Chicken Rice stall? What mood were you in when you eat Chicken Rice?

In other words, the problem lies in that the answer isn't specific enough. One stall's chicken rice tastes differently from another stall's chicken rice. Also, what mood you were in when you ate that chicken rice and decided ''Chicken rice, i choose you!(as my favorite food)'' is also important.

Also, its also pretty inaccurate to just say a food name as  your favorite food. When you choose what is your favorite food, there is definitely one time where you ate that food and thought that it was damn nice.

But if you think about it, what if the person whose favorite food is chicken rice 1st ate chicken rice at a chicken rice stall that sells the most disgusting chicken rice? He would then avoid eating chicken rice anymore because of the trauma.

So what made him make chicken rice his favorite food? He ate nice chicken rice the 1st time, then continued to eat it, because its nice, presumably from the same stall. Then any other chicken rice that is worse than that particular stall becomes bad chicken rice.

So, when you say what is your favorite food, please answer in this way:
''Chicken rice from XXXX. Btw, on XXXday its not that nice because XXXXXXX.''

The cursed boy and 2 lame-ass rules(among other lame-ass rules) of his school

I am cursed. Or at least my umbrella is. I have no idea why but every umbrella i bought will break when it finally rains. Like on Friday, i finally left school, then swung my umbrella for a bit and woosh the handle went flying.

The umbrella broke into 2. OTL

Maybe its a signal. Maybe its telling me that i don't need umbrellas. Maybe its telling me that i should act romantic and sing in the rain.

No, not romantic at all.

OR maybe, its telling me that i shouldn't mind about the conventions of mankind. If it rains, it doesn't mean i have to use an umbrella. Similarly if theres school it doesn't mean i have to go. Its telling me to be different! To be unique! To create a revolution!

All just because my umbrella keep breaking? Okay maybe not really.

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School is lame-ass. Everybody knows that. But there are 2 even more lame-ass among the lame-ass rules among the school rules. I don't know about you, but the 2 lame-ass among the lame-ass rule exists within my school.

1. You are allowed to wear your PE-shirt to school, but only if its the 1st period.


Notice the 1st period in italics. Yes, they are pretty anal about that. They have no considerations whether your PE doesn't have any break before for you to change, they have no considerations whether your PE is after the 1 hour assembly on Thursdays.

It has to be the *1st* period of the day.


WTF? Then whats the point?

On Thursday, theres a 1 hour assembly. Right after that assembly is PE. So, i was in the assembly in my PE attire... Then came the teacher.

''Why are you in your PE attire?''
''We have PE right after assembly.''
''But is it the 1st period!!''
''No, but its RIGHT AFTER assembly.''
''I know, but is it the FIRST PERIOD!!!!!!!''
''No,'' *headaches* ''ITS RIGHT AFTER ASSEMBLY!!!!!''
''SO IS IT THE 1ST PERIOD!''
*blood bursts out of head*
''We have guests(the Watoto Choir) this morning. Don't embarrass  yourself and change into your attire now.''

Seriously, i'm pretty sure people have no desire to see a school so inflexible and foolish.

And oh yeah, i swear that the guests don't really care. After the performance started, a lady in the choir started walking through the stage even though she has no role so far. She was totally like ''Oh yea i won't even bother looking for the backstage so i'll just walk the front stage muahahahah.''

2. You are not allowed to leave school before 1pm. 


And they mean it. Even if all your teachers are miraculously sick for that day, even if your lesson ended before  1, even if your house is burning, even if the world is ending, school will not allow you out until 1pm. Just kidding about the last 2( but who knows maybe they will really do it).

Seriously, i was standing there at the side gate, waiting. And theres the security guard waiting for the exact time of 1pm to open the gate. I go to the main gate. Another security guard says ''Not yet 1pm''. What are they? Robots designed by society and the government? Of course they are!

And what is this?! Is school a prison?

OH-... What am i saying.

School is worse than prison.

The Observer

This world is very different from where the observer came from. In his world, everything is perfect. There are no prejudice. No wars. No conflicts. People have complete trust for each other. There is no money as well, for its existence is unneeded.(even though it was considered for, but soon people realize that it's obsolete)

Paradise. That's what people would call the place the observer came from. 

But this world the observer currently exist in now, is very different. People are foolish. Selfish. Unable to trust. 

Being the polar opposite of Paradise, this place, called Reality, could be considered Hell. 

Ever since the observer was born, that was what he thought. 

The beginning of his life was simple, similar to Paradise. Life wasn't bad as a 1 to 6 years old. All the observer had to do was watch the world as it is. Most children don't know how to doubt. Life was like paradise.

Then came education. The observer soon forgot his purpose. His aspirations. The world, led by an unknown force, created many things. Money and education are but one of these mysterious objects that puzzles the observer. 

People are forced to take education. Then forced to make a choice, even when they have no idea what to choose. People are unhappy about it, but nobody made complains. Everybody was led by the unknown force and the few powerful people that governs the Reality. They say its for the better, but the observer knows better. If it is truly for a better tomorrow, then why are people unhappy? Education is indeed a paradoxical existence. To make ourselves happy, we make ourselves suffer. 

Why is the observer called the observer? Even he does not know. The only thing  he knows is that this world is not for him. But there is nothing he can do. He is just an observer. Unless he obtains unlimited power, he can never change Reality to Paradise. 

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School is a waste of time... But i wouldn't know how to use the time i saved. Maybe i forgot. Maybe i don't have it in the 1st place. I feel like this world doesn't really matter anymore...