I will go to NS and receive BMT. This is where i might probably die. I will kindly illustrate this using choose your adventure style.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A) The main character, me, is going to NS(national service). To cut long story short, i am now running like hell. But I have never exercised my whole life, so i am breathless already. The commando or whoever that guy is, is now shouting: ''RUN! RUN LIKE HELL! WTF YOU DOING! DONT STOP!!''
And now I have a choice! I can:
1. Continue running like hell! Go to post B to continue my adventure!
2. Retaliate! I don't want to run! I'm too tired! Go to post C!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
B) I use my remaining strength to bring my leg muscles to work. The breathlessness will not stop me. I must run, for it is my mission. But god, what is this dizzyness? I start to slow down. ''1 thousand push ups for those who run slow! Because i know they can't do it! Hahaha!'', shouts the commando. I continue to run despite the dizzyness. I don't want to do 100 push ups. No wait, is that the number he said? My head feels weird...
''By the way, we are a team! Anybody who stop = whole team kena push up!''
''WTF?! Oi! Fatass! Run faster la! Only you run so slow!''
I struggle to catch up... but just when i was about to catch up, a strange feeling gush towards my head. I faint.
YOU ARE DEAD.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
C) ''Fuck you! I can't run anymore la! I continue will die!!''
The commando only stares at me. The runners stop to look at us. After a deadly silence, the commando opened his mouth. ''What is it you say? You can't run anymore?'' The commando is apparently a pro at this. The deathly look he gave you seems to hint that you will die if you don't run (SPOILER!: You will : SPOILER!) Now i have another choice!
1. Start to run! I don't want to die! Go to post B.
2. Continue to retaliate! Continue reading....
''Yes! I had enough! I will seriously die if i continue. There is something called rest and start small!''
''It seems like you don't understand. You are now opposing the state. Now will you run or not?''
''No!''
''I understand. Men! Take him!''
2 mysterious man who looks like Niu Tou Ma Mian grabs my sweaty arms and dragged me towards an unknown building. I couldn't retaliate because i spent all energy running. On the way i fell asleep. Lol.
When i wake up, i'm in prison. A small envelope is just beside my bed. Or whatever prisoners sleep on. Apparently i am being sued and fined $10,000, for not following the Enlistment Act, which i had never even agreed or heard of.
NO, I AM NOT DEAD. BUT I AM FUCKED FOR THE REST OF
MY LIFE. THE GOVERNMENT WILL ENSURE THIS. JUST TO
GET AN UNFIT SOLDIER INSIDE THEIR ARMY. DURING
PRISON, I'LL PROBABLY SUICIDE.
MY LIFE. THE GOVERNMENT WILL ENSURE THIS. JUST TO
GET AN UNFIT SOLDIER INSIDE THEIR ARMY. DURING
PRISON, I'LL PROBABLY SUICIDE.
YOU ARE DIE!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now, lets say i am not dead by the 1st week. By then the A Level results would be out. Now for the start of another choose your(my) adventure!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
D) I go to school and take the laminated paper. The results of my tests... I do not dare to see. I rush to the MRT immediately and lock myself in the toilet. If i have to see my results, i have to at least do it alone. The results:
GP: U
PW: R( There is an ant crushed inside the lamination. It is actually a C)
Physics: D
Chem: E
Maths: A
Econs : D
HOLY SHIT! IT SPELLS '' U R DEAD''!! But that isn't the part i should be surprised about! I literally am dead! Now! I have a choice!!!
i) Cry. Then suicide. Go to post E.
ii) Try to look for somewhere you can actually go to. Like a university? A job? Go to post F.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
E) I cried in the toilet. It was a silent cry. I opened my mouth but no sound came out. Tears gush out like a waterfall. Then i drown in the waterfall and die. No wait, i decided to suicide because it is just so damn sad. There are again, choices!
i) Flush my head in the toilet bowl and drown. Go to post X.
ii) Bang my head against the wall. Go to post Y.
iii) Run outside, strip naked then jump off the highest building i can find. Go to post Z.
Did i mention those posts don't exist? It doesn't matter its all the same anyway.
YOU ARE DEAD.
What did you expect? ''YOU ARE ALIVE.''? This is a choose your adventure game for god's sake. There are no happy endings. You either complete the game and feel sad at your life for reading this. Or you reach 40 different endings on how you died, then feel sad for your life that you read the whole book. Now go eat a pie and waste your life watching TV.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
F) I firm up. I would never cry over such silly things. There is definitely somewhere this life can go. Duh, its a choice!
i) Go to a Polytechnic. Go to Post G.
ii) Find a job! Do i have to say ''Go to'' every time? Post H.
iii) Set up a business. Post I.
iv) University! Continue reading this post.
For 2 years in NS(assuming i'm not dead), i have been submitting to random universities for a slot. They all rejected me. Now go back and choose post G, H or I.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
G) I go to a polytechnic. Hurray! They accepted me! Then i go back home and laugh at my mother because i said i did not want to go to JC. Then i laugh at myself because i wasted 2 years of my life to prove this point.
BAD END.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
H) I go find a job! They all rejected me! I go become toilet cleaner! I became the best toilet cleaner! I stay as a toilet cleaner because i'm the best toilet cleaner! I receive awards! But i am still a toilet cleaner!
TOILET CLEANER END.
!LOL!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I) I tired of writing already. Can i stop? I can't? Damn you.
I went along the streets, wondering about a business plan and what to sell.
That's when this happened! I spotted a person from the future! He accidentally drops something! Its an item from the future! But its useful and can be created using materials from now! I start a business revolving around this! I became successful! I am rich!
RICH MAN END!
...
NO REALLY! A HAPPY ENDING! AREN'T YOU HAPPY?
Note: The above will never happen in real life. Now go eat your pie and watch some TV.
And because you hate me, the time cops come to capture me and lock me up, then alter my history and put me back after 50 years. I go back as a poor dip who begs for money everyday and get kicked by people. On the bright side, beggars are quite rich because lol $1/people begged.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
